Amanda Williams

November 9, 2007

I am reviewing the I-Search paper of a peer, which can be accessed here:

http://hollidaymu.wordpress.com/category/i-search-paper/

Voice: This piece in written in first person, by someone who is interested in the topic of literacy skills and their development in children living in poverty.

Audience: The paper is written for students, educators and even members of the general public who are interested in how they can help children living in poverty develop literacy skills. Also, the paper could be of use to a parent who has a low socio-economic status and is working hard to keep their child on par with other children.

Say Back: I think that you are saying that there are a variety of different ways that SLPs, teachers and programs can help children who are in poverty. Some of the ways you listed which can assist are: reading, talking, and even listening to a tape. You emphasized the importance of effort from everyone including : the child, family, teacher, and other professionals for the program to be successful.

Bless: I really liked the fact that you put your personal touch in the paper with your experience with Energy Express. It sounds like you are truly interested in your research question which is very important in writing a good paper! I liked the way you related your conclusions section to your searching section. It is organized very clearly, and briefly sums up your research. Great Job!

Address: 

  • While looking at the Searching section I noticed that the first sentence doesn’t have qoute marks, but in the citation directly after it you listed a page #, is it a direct qoute? or was that something else? (Page 208 of the APA publication manual talks about that.)
  •  In the second paragraph of the searching section the sentence “appropriate interest or level books or pre-school experiences. ” is a little awkward, maybe you have one too many ‘or’s.
  • The last sentence of the second paragraph of the searching section, the word peer needs an s on the end.
  • I really like the fact that you incorporated your knowledge about the topic and connected it to your life, but in the last section you discussed some of your connections to the topic and I am not sure if that is relevant in the conclusion. It sounds great, but I am not sure if it is appropriate in that section. I could be wrong.